Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Last night Naomi was sleeping in my arms while I was sad. I couldn't wipe the tears from my eyes for fear of waking her, so I let them fall off my face and and felt them land at the same as hairs that have been falling out of my head. Just as I inhaled to really lose it, God enveloped me with His love instead. I had been in the middle of praying for Naomi--that she wouldn't go through this pain with or because of me--and felt His answer so clearly. Instead of assurance that she won't suffer from this, I received what He knew I needed--a reminder that He is looking down at me the same way I look at her. I felt strongly that it pains Him as much to see me hurting as it does for me to think of my girls hurting. More, probably.
I know that God is love, and that He created me in His image. But somehow it's really hard to see and accept this fatherly-style of love. I don't know if everyone struggles with this, or why it's an issue with me, but it is. I hope I can retain this one in my long term memory for once. This cancer issue is part of His plan, but that doesn't mean He has turned off the sensitivity meter and left me to free fall. Pain and trials are difficult to go through for us and for Him as our Father. I am so grateful to have my loving sovereign father (as well as an awesome earthly one!)!
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 :Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
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